he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
