It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
