I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
