The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I skipped work to stalk him.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Welp...herpes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
