My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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