We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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