I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
