im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
