chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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