Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
