He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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