I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just want to make out with him forever
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
