birth control should be required to get into college
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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