dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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