Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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