is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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