I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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