my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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