oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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