im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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