Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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