Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize