I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
