Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
