BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
