8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
