My pussy is not your playground.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
