You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
