he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
