So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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