After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
