I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
handjob tips. give me some.
Girls should come with a carfax report
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
