C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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