you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
