Sry I called you an 8
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
