my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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