____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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