Joe is yelling at the trees again.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
