suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
