Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
