You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He passed out mid-signature
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
