youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
