Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
