you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
