Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize