Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
