Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
