i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
