i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
