So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize