is your mom at the bar?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
