two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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