I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So vagazzling was a success
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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