We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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