Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
