things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Panties = found
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