The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
