I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
