Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
