This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
