Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize