Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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